Yum, I just finished a delicious banana sandwich I made myself; good English butter, thin sliced white bread which I love (but which mom says is just cardboard) and fresh, but not too ripe, bananas. But what I really wanted to write about today was Santa Claus. I'd like to think, if I'd ever had the chance or desire to have children, that I would not have introduced the idea of farcical, make-believe characters such as Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Why lie to them? They're not just little white lies, either: they go on for years and years and each has a whole mythology built around it. Is there some sick pleasure adults get out of duping someone who's barely learned to tie his shoes? I remember the day I found out the Tooth Fairy wasn't real. I was six. Other than birthdays and allowances (if you earned one, which I didn't), this was the only opportunity for kids to acquire cash, and all the boys in the neighbourhood would compare and boast, even at that young age. I was so excited when I lost my tooth (I think it had been loose for some time, and I had been anxiously wiggling and prodding it for days; I couldn't wait for it to fall out.) That night I carefully placed it under my pillow, and could barely contain my excitement. I had to check on it several times before falling into a fitful sleep. In the morning, of course, the tooth was gone, and a coin was left in its place. It was probably the usual amount, but for some reason I thought it was a bit on the low side, and scrounged around in my room for some more small change I had secreted. Proud as a peacock, I marched up to my mom. "Look," said I, "the Tooth Fairy left me 65 cents." "That's funny," said mom. "I thought she only left you a quarter." A little over a year later (I was seven), as we were spending Christmas in Chicago on our way to Turkey, I kept wondering how Santa could be in so many different places at once (I'd seen him on different street corners on the same block, in multiple department stores, at the parade, etc.), especially when he had so much to do before the big day. I asked my parents, and they sat me down with the "Yes Virginia" article in the newspaper. I was pretty disappointed. How could I have been so gullible? What was worse, my parents, the two most important people in the world, had lied to me for MY ENTIRE LIFE. Why was that OK? What kind of lesson was I supposed to learn from that? What was worse, they wanted me to join them in their evil plot, and to perpetuate the lie so as not to ruin it for my little brother. I was crushed. Of course, now I'm taking medication, which has helped. And I've forgiven the 'rents.
10:01:00 PM