I know I haven't fully explained why I've decided to apply for the Irish citizenship, and perhaps that's a lengthy entry for another day, but here's an excerpt from an email I sent today to someone I've just recently met:
I have been perfectly content being depressed & unmotivated for the last year, and [recent events] at DARPA have made me question whether the plans that I have made (even if they were to �do nothing�) are still for the best.
You are now aware of my pending citizenship application, which I submitted to the embassy last year. At that time, I had expected it to be cleared within four-six months and that I would have left D A R P A by now. I have been taking steps to prepare for that eventuality, including selling almost all my books, videos, CDs on ebay as I won�t be able to take them with me. I�m also having to resolve the issue of my two cats, who are no longer kittens and who I can�t in good conscience consider putting through the U.K.�s mandatory 6 month quarantine. I have also anticipated that I will have to take a significant pay cut, as wages in Europe are not on par with their American equivalents.
Perhaps you can imagine my apprehension at the prospect of arriving in a foreign country with no contacts, no job, no housing, and the sum of my possessions in my suitcases. I will truly be starting over, which at 34 seems a step back but if I�m going to do it, better at 34 than 44 or 54.
The fact that I have had to wait more than twice as long as I originally anticipated adds to the low-level stress and depression. I do not want to get involved in any extracurricular activities or classes or friendships or relationships, as I know I�ll be leaving, perhaps very quickly. So I work, and I go home, and I sell stuff and throw stuff out, and I go to work again.
Perhaps you did not know that I went to see a doctor last year & was diagnosed as having low-level "situational" depression. At the time, I opted not to treat the condition with medication, hoping that circumstances would change and the "situation" would resolve itself, particularly with the move. Well, the move hasn't happened and I am tired of being in limbo. It's been nearly nine months since I sent my application, and nearly three since I was told I'd hear something within a month.
Wouldn't it be funny if my application were rejected?
9/03/2002 04:30:00 AM
I could get used to these three day weekends.
I've been dealing with administrative ebay and half.com issues most of the weekend, but managed to take a break yesterday to head over to the Boivins with my dad for an indoor-outdoor luxury candlelit bar-b-que. We were more than the usual as Beth's roommie Kelly came, as did Cathie's friend Deborah and Sara's friend Danny. As usual, the food and the conversation and the company were all thoroughly enjoyed.
I tried not to sleep in too late as I needed to go into work for some archiving & sorting. I took a break mid-afternoon to see Rupert Everett and Reese Witherspoon in
The Importance of Being Earnest. Judi Dench stole the show, though. There isn't anything she's been in that I haven't liked. I've put
Iris on my netflix queue.

The evening's been spent mucking about with the site. It's still not 100%, but good enough for everyone except the mother-in-law.
9/03/2002 04:23:00 AM
Well that didn't take long.
9/03/2002 03:57:00 AM